Yesterday we had our home study interviews. The word I would use to describe the whole thing would be...fabulous. God is so present in all of the decisions we make and I'm not sure why it continues to surprise us that He leads us to the right choices when we ask for His guidance. Our agency is amazing and our case worker could not have been any better suited for us. Our agency is so proactive in finding homes for children in need and I really admire the hard work they do and the sacrifices they make. God is using them so well!
I cannot speak for other adoptive families but the home study interviews were nothing to fret about. Ryan and I are pretty much open books so it wasn't too hard for us. They just want to make sure that children are being put into a better situation than what they are coming from. Sadly..some children are put into worse environments and that is what the home study is trying to prevent. It's a really necessary step and we are just excited to be moving along!
The thing we were most nervous about before hand were the answers we may get to some questions we wanted to ask him.
What is the wait time to receive a referral? About 9 months (like a pregnancy) and he thinks that is getting shorter. There is always a disclaimer that it could be much longer or that something terrible could happen, but we signed up knowing those things but hoping for the best.
We want to make sure that we do not have the mindset of please go find us a child...but here we are, ready..when a child needs us..we will love them. Families for orphans..not orphans for families.
When we started this process we decided we would be "open to siblings." Meaning, we would accept a referral for a blood related pair of siblings. Our hearts started to be changed and softened and instead of "open" we were now "hoping for siblings." The problem is that we have a young child and we would like him to remain the oldest child in our family. So unless there were twins needing a home, we would probably receive a referral for one child.
So our next question was "Can we adopt TWO non-blood related children at the same time?" Yes...a lot of families do it, Ethiopia will allow it, you can do that. Sure.
Will it take a lot longer to get a referral for two children? It will take longer probably, but not crazy long, and things are looking better all the time anyway.
So, are you saying you are open to two children or you are seeking to adopt two? We want to be a family of 5.
Will you please write down that we WANT to adopt two children? That is what we are requesting. Two children born after May 31, 2011. Boys or girls or one of each. We would like to adopt two. Okay, great.
How many of those fees are doubled? Most of them you just pay half on the second child. And of course you travel only 2 times and not 2 for each child. One home study fee.
Our social worker leaves.
Did we just tell him we wanted to adopt two children? Yes, and I am so excited about that.
Why two?
Why not?
Can I physically and emotionally handle being a stay at home mom to what will probably be three toddlers? Not on my own..but with God and my husband and an army of friends, yes I think I can.
Can we afford it? We are really leaping out in faith and trusting that God will provide and we have already seen evidence of that within 24 hours of our meeting.
What about Brody, do I feel bad that two more children will take even more attention away from him? These babies that will be ours one day are orphans right now. God gives mommies and daddies the ability to spread out their love to many children. I am praying for Brody's sweet heart to understand and he love his new siblings!
So there it is..we are in the process of adopting two children. Our prayers are for our children in Ethiopia.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Friday, July 6, 2012
The Money
Many people don't know a lot about adoption and the process that families go through. What a lot of people do know is that it is not cheap. As adoptive parents we have put our trust in God that He will give us the strength to get through the waiting, the love and wisdom to get through any hardships that may come, the comfort to deal with the sadness and loss involved, and yes..that He will provide the funds to make it possible.
God has blessed Ryan with a great job and through that many opportunities. We have a great home that we have been able to improve as we wish. I get to stay home with Brody. We have been able to avoid debt and pay off my school loans. He gave Ryan a brain that seems to understand numbers and how to manage money, and he gave me enough respect for Ryan to just listen to what he told me about when we should spend money and how much to save. We have made some impulsive decisions and probably wasted money along the way. There have been some unexpected expenses that we were prepared for but not really planning. (Like Brody having to stay at Vanderbilt for 3 days because he wouldn't produce wet diapers) We have managed and done well. That being said, adoption is expensive. We need God's help!
How are you going to pay for it?
This is a common question that we are either asked, or that some people probably want to ask. So I will answer it.
God has blessed Ryan with a great job and through that many opportunities. We have a great home that we have been able to improve as we wish. I get to stay home with Brody. We have been able to avoid debt and pay off my school loans. He gave Ryan a brain that seems to understand numbers and how to manage money, and he gave me enough respect for Ryan to just listen to what he told me about when we should spend money and how much to save. We have made some impulsive decisions and probably wasted money along the way. There have been some unexpected expenses that we were prepared for but not really planning. (Like Brody having to stay at Vanderbilt for 3 days because he wouldn't produce wet diapers) We have managed and done well. That being said, adoption is expensive. We need God's help!
How are you going to pay for it?
This is a common question that we are either asked, or that some people probably want to ask. So I will answer it.
- We have some savings
- Budget means something a little different now, and going over is frowned upon
- We have some stuff for sale on Craigslist and Ebay..we don't need a lot of the stuff we have and if we can make a few dollars on it..great
- Laura Beth Lamb is hosting a Thirty One party for us and DONATING all of her commission to our adoption. If you would like to place an order with her..follow this link. http://www.mythirtyone.com/shop/catalog.aspx?eventId=E1925892&from=DIRECTLINK
- You don't have to pay for adoption all at once, it is broken down into different fees over the whole process. Right now we have NO idea when we will travel to Ethiopia so we can't buy those tickets now.
- 147 Million Orphans has an amazing program that helps adoptive families by selling their gear and giving the proceeds to those families..and we are one of them. If you would like to purchase some really pretty clothing or accessories, please click the button on the side of this blog (the t-shirt) and anything you order will help us bring that baby home! Please share this blog with your friends if they are interested in purchasing something..make sure they follow the link on the blog!
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Home
Let me just share with you all that when people tell you that adoption will teach you patience..they are right. This is not a complaint, it's just a fact. We were fully aware of what we were getting into so we are using it to let God mold us into stronger Christians. The end result of this adoption will be wonderful, but the things that have to happen for our family to grow this way, are anything but wonderful. There is going to be heartache, abandonment, loss, grief, fear, and sadness. The word orphan is not happy, its sad. But if anyone can bring beauty from the ashes..its God.
As I mentioned before, some parts of adoption are a little hard to wait on. Ryan and I get really excited if we get an e-mail from our agency (which they are great about communication, they don't make us wait). So there was definitely some jumping up and down and thanksgiving when we found out that our first home study visit was scheduled! The NEXT step, progress, more validation that this is real. We prayed hard for our home study to be scheduled within a certain amount of time and God answered YES to that!
What is a home study? Well, I will know more in about a week..seeing as I haven't been involved in one yet, I may not be the best person to answer this question. However, I can share with you what we have read and been told about them. Our awesome case worker will come and visit us in our very clean home next week. He will ask us a lot of questions and probably answer a lot of questions. An assessment will be made about the suitability of our home for raising children. We'll give a tour, we'll probably get personal, and I don't plan on being offended for one moment. Right now I am not even nervous because I feel we have nothing to hide or to be ashamed of. We are NOT perfect. But pretty much all we want to do is love another child and whatever we need to do to make that happen..it's fine with me.
The adoption process isn't perfect and smooth all the time. I am sure there are things that some people would change about it. We are going to endure though, because, once again..end result..wonderful. The other night I was lying in bed just crying...adoption hormones. I was thinking about some of the really sad things in this world. My child who may suffer from things ranging from hunger to abuse. People who just die too young. Homelessness. Cancer. Child Soldiers. Adultery. Murder. Poverty. Sin. Hell. Sometimes if you open your eyes to the sad things in this world it can be like a weight just crushing you. But sometimes, it can make you so grateful that God designed something to come after this life.
There is not a good answer for "Why?" The only one I can come up with is This is Not home.
So, like Ryan and I know that our new family will be worth it all, so is this life. No matter how tough..Heaven will surely be worth it all.
As I mentioned before, some parts of adoption are a little hard to wait on. Ryan and I get really excited if we get an e-mail from our agency (which they are great about communication, they don't make us wait). So there was definitely some jumping up and down and thanksgiving when we found out that our first home study visit was scheduled! The NEXT step, progress, more validation that this is real. We prayed hard for our home study to be scheduled within a certain amount of time and God answered YES to that!
What is a home study? Well, I will know more in about a week..seeing as I haven't been involved in one yet, I may not be the best person to answer this question. However, I can share with you what we have read and been told about them. Our awesome case worker will come and visit us in our very clean home next week. He will ask us a lot of questions and probably answer a lot of questions. An assessment will be made about the suitability of our home for raising children. We'll give a tour, we'll probably get personal, and I don't plan on being offended for one moment. Right now I am not even nervous because I feel we have nothing to hide or to be ashamed of. We are NOT perfect. But pretty much all we want to do is love another child and whatever we need to do to make that happen..it's fine with me.
The adoption process isn't perfect and smooth all the time. I am sure there are things that some people would change about it. We are going to endure though, because, once again..end result..wonderful. The other night I was lying in bed just crying...adoption hormones. I was thinking about some of the really sad things in this world. My child who may suffer from things ranging from hunger to abuse. People who just die too young. Homelessness. Cancer. Child Soldiers. Adultery. Murder. Poverty. Sin. Hell. Sometimes if you open your eyes to the sad things in this world it can be like a weight just crushing you. But sometimes, it can make you so grateful that God designed something to come after this life.
There is not a good answer for "Why?" The only one I can come up with is This is Not home.
So, like Ryan and I know that our new family will be worth it all, so is this life. No matter how tough..Heaven will surely be worth it all.
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