Books and 27

I absolutely love to read. Its my favorite hobby ever. I think a book can change your life because it can give you access to someone else's life and in a small way, experience that life in addition to your own.

My husband knows me well. This month, on the 21st, I turned 27. Ryan declared it  birthday month for me and on about October 2nd-he started giving me my birthday presents. I got 8 books for my birthday and we also built a book shelf earlier this month. I have a really sweet husband. You might be offended if you got 8 books for your birthday-I am super excited about it. I've read 4 of them.

Oh-most of the books were used which means they were super cheaper than they would be new which means-he splurged on hard back for me. Also-in our family we have started "birthday week punch cards". Right now its a metaphorical punch card but in the future they will be real. Each day for 7 days leading up to your birthday you get 1 punch! I used most of mine on Christie Cookie, Chick Fil A, and entertainment choices-a Sunday hike, a Friday date while the Palmers played with Brody-thanks :)

Here are the books I got for my birthday-so far, all of them are slam dunks.

This book was so good and eye opening. Once you get through the heart stopping grief that launches this story you can't put it down. If you're looking for a light happy story-this isn't it. But if you're into the kind of books that change your heart and help you learn more about the world and people who have experienced tragic loss, along with a lot of triumph-READ IT TODAY.



GO + DO was the perfect encore to Jantsen's Gift for me. This book is written by a man and  I don't read many books authored by males so I liked the difference. There are so many capacities of serving and reaching out to others and this one is written by a lawyer-most lawyers don't get credit for saving the world, so if you know someone who is interested in law and wants to help people-give them this.
 

Unbroken pretty much left me sleep deprived and amazed. I stayed up past midnight several nights in a row because I just couldn't put it down. What a story! This is pretty high on my favorite books ever list. I don't know what else to say about it-just read it.




Anything-this book really spoke to me. It put into words a lot of what I've tried to put into words and instead just made up a bunch of really bad analogies for how I feel. I think Ryan appreciates when I finally read something and can say-this is it-this is what I've been trying to say. Because then we can all sleep.


I sort of think that all of these books were written with the purpose to be life changing for Christ. Now the Bible is obviously THE book for such a thing, but sometimes when we read the stories of people we can meet or look at pictures of-it just helps us see the bible in a whole new way. I'm still letting them all "simmer" but I'm pretty pumped about their affect on me.

Still to be read...






Very excited about all of them! If you have read any of these let me know-I love discussing books! I may even let you borrow one, as long as you return it. :) I like to "encourage" my hubby to read books that I love so that we can come a little closer to having the same brain. (Wouldn't that make some things easier?)

So I am 27. I don't have a lot of wisdom to impart except that I am SUPER blessed. I have an amazing husband, a precious son, and hopefully sometime before I'm 37-2 more precious souls will join our family. We have a home that is cool in the summer and warm in the winter. I actually have to decide what to wear each day which means I have more than one thing to wear. Grocery shopping is something that I can do any time I want. I know how to read and can own any book I want. I can proclaim Jesus on the internet or in a store or anywhere I go (and I still don't do it everywhere I go-even though no one will throw me in jail or behead me.) I stay at home with my kid every day and we have to "find things to do" so we don't go crazy. Eating too much is the problem and running and walking are forms of exercise that I need to do more and not forms of getting around. My house is a wreck right now because the boss-ME- doesn't seem to care. Teaching my toddler to share is my hardest work assignment right now and the worst thing that happens to my son each day is having to come inside from playing.

Right now-at 27 I have some perspective. Maybe its because we are in the process of adopting from Africa. Maybe its because of these books I have been reading. I don't know-maybe God has given it to me because I need it so badly. Yikes I am blessed and I don't want be ungrateful or belittle my blessings. I want to share them and  be grateful for them! I want to want less and give more. I am so not a finished project and I have such a long way to go. I hope I'm doing a little better than I was at 17 and I pray that I have the opportunity to be better at 37. My talents are limited but my heart is open. If you like to shut out all of the bad things that are going on in the world-DON'T, because you just might be the person that God wants to use to do something about it. It might just be me. I'm not sure? But I hope my ears are open too-so I can hear what's next.

God Provides

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

When your calling to do something overcomes your fear...that is when you can finally trust God. Some people may find the choices that others make irresponsible or hasty. Sometimes we make irresponsible and very impulsive decisions. Sometimes they don't turn out well. Adoption, isn't one of them.

Some people do not feel like they can adopt simply because it costs a lot of money. Its hard to figure out how to pay for things but there are a lot of families who just jump in and trust that the money will come. We are one of those families.

For those of you who have been wondering how much adoption costs, I'll just tell you. Our agency estimates that in 2012 the Fees and Expenses would come out to about $32,000.

The fees cover things like processing of paper work, the time it takes our social worker to come to our home and interview us and then type out a report to be sent with our dossier, fingerprinting and background checks, translation of our papers, registration of our documents, post adoption reports, travel, and different documents that cost money.

We are hoping to adopt 2 children. The fees will  not be twice as much but we are looking at a total of something like $40,000 or more. We are not trying to raise $40,000. We are doing everything we can to pay for every part of this adoption ourselves. But it is a little overwhelming at times, but then we remember that God is a part of this journey.

Last weekend some friends of ours hosted a support dinner for us. They wanted to (1) Make people aware that we were adopting and (2) help us any way they could with our funds. These friends of ours are precious treasures from the Lord.

I did absolutely NOTHING for this dinner other than show up. They sent the invitations and cleaned up afterwards and EVERYTHING in between.

The dinner was absolutely special and wonderful. The tables were beautiful, the food was delicious, the guests were so kind, the music (which I am listening to right now) was so sweet, the slide show was heartwarming, and the video they showed even worked! There were pictures of us and a really cool cut out of Africa with a bible verse on it. They came and got my 147 Million Orphans stuff and lots of it sold.

There was also a table with a bowl and some envelopes. The girls made an announcement at the dinner that they had raised over $1500 for us!! That is so HUGE! Now, back to that bowl...when we got home and opened up the envelopes we counted $2,760.   Several people gave us donations over the next few days.

Because these girls decided to help us, we are more than $4,500 closer to the goal!!! That's a really big deal!! Plus now that many more people know our story, we have that many more people praying for us! At the dinner they also left note cards on the table for people to write us notes and the kind words that people left us mean so much to us.

God has provided for us in so many ways and we are so grateful! The people in our lives are great instruments of his handiwork! Thank you so much, we are blessed and really don't have the right words to express how thankful we are to the people who worked on the dinner for us, those that came, those that donated, and for the ones praying for us...we love you!

I know there were other wonderful people who helped, thank you so much!!! IF ANYONE HAS FRIENDS WHO ARE ADOPTING AND YOU WANT TO HELP THEM.....Please contact me abbymhysmith@gmail.com, because this was a really great event!

Please pray for us as we await the next step in our process to be completed..it is hard to wait but boy are we growing!!! :)

Connect Courageously

"No matter how busy you are, you must take time to make the other person feel important. "
 Mary Kay Ash

We have been really busy lately. 

It's been great. We have spent a lot of time with family, made memories, eaten great food, and done a lot of laundry. But this morning, when I looked at my calendar (the dry erase one on the refrigerator) and I saw nothing written on it...I felt pure joy. I actually love to have things on my agenda. Play dates, errands, lunches, appointments, these are the musical notes to the sweet melody of my life, but sometimes, the rhythm needs to slow down a little bit. Because I need to remember that my symphony, my opus, my prize winning score, is my family. The little nucleus that lives in this house right now and the two that live in our hearts, those people are the ones I need to make feel important. 

I would love to take some time to report on those wonderful trips and activities that have happened in the past few weeks  months. So be expecting some retro blogging in the future. Those highlights will consist of the beach, Gatlinburg, and our precious precious son. But today, please let me share with you about our weekend. 

This past weekend Ryan and I attended Empowered to Connect. It is a conference geared towards adoptive and foster parents, along with social workers and counselors, but mainly parents. To say that it was "empowering" and that I "connected" would be an understatement. My emotions were in hyper overdrive and my heart was wide open from the minute I parked the car at Brentwood Baptist, which is where the conference was held. Ryan was able to come after lunch on Friday and join me, but I was solo for the morning session. As I was walking in I actually started crying just watching all of the other adoptive parents gather to learn more about how to connect with their children. It felt awesome to be in the presence of so many other people that are on the same journey as us. Some of them are WAY ahead of us, and other in the same boat. It was like God was showing me, see, you aren't alone. These people made it and they are with you. 

Now I don't really know how to explain what the sessions were about, but they were amazing.  There was scientific research, there were video clips, there were personal stories, there were charts, and there was THE  Dr. Karyn Purvis. In the world of adoption this woman is the expert. She has seen some children from VERY hard places and been able to help them and their families. My heart broke hearing her talk about the children who have come to her and the past they are trying to overcome.

 I remembered that God has a design for families. When a baby is born they are supposed to be held close and fed by their mother and rocked and cooed at by daddy. When they cry, someone should take care of their needs and they should always be warm and have a full belly. But this is not the case for every child.  Many things in this world do not go according to God's design...but the amazing thing about God is that He also offers redemption. So, whatever our children are missing, we will do all we can to try and make up for that. I know it won't be easy, but the first step is having the tools to make it happen. I believe that God provides those tools if we seek them out. He has created amazing people who have talents and brains to help us.

One of my favorite quotes from the conference was this: "Don't you love it when science catches up to God?" Some people think that there is either faith or there is science. I think that it's amazing to discover something that God designed and to understand it even further. Now I am no science lover...but when it comes to understanding the development of children and their brains and their inner workings...I like that, I like that a lot. 

We felt so blessed to go the conference. We took notes, cried, got some DVDs, and learned so much. It just sort of reignited our passion. Sometimes with adoption you hit slumps and it feels like the whole process just stopped. So doing something like this was great. It made it real again. It also made me thing that maybe sometimes the journey is long and hard because it strengthens us as parents. And these children are going to need strong parents.

I need to brag on my husband a minute. I don't think I do it enough. Ryan is a sweetheart. Literally, he just has a sweet heart. I feel so blessed to be the one to know him the best. You see, my sweet Ryan just turned 25. Yeah, he's a tiny baby. But he gets it. This man in my life is leading our family on a journey that I would not miss for anything. He is passionate about being a good father and husband and doing for our family whatever it is we need to do. I went on a run the other day and my mind was going crazy, naturally. A song popped into my head. It is by Casting Crowns and it is from the movie Courageous. If you haven't seen the movie, watch it tonight with your husband. If you're single, watch it and then reassess your list of desirable traits in a mate. Here are the lyrics to the song:

we were made to be courageous

we were made to lead the way

we could be the generation that finally breaks the chains

we were made to be courageous

we were made to be courageous

we were warriors on the front lines,

standing unafraid.

but now we're watchers on the side lines,

while our families slip away.

where are you men of courage?

you were made for so much more.

let the pounding of our hearts cry,

we will serve the Lord.

we were made to be courageous,

and were taking back the fight.

we were made to be courageous,

and it starts with us tonight.

the only way we'll ever stand,

is on our knees with lifted hands.

make us courageous,

Lord make us courageous.

this is our resolution, our answer to the call,

we will love our wives and children,

and refuse to let them fall.

we will reignite the passion,

that we buried deep inside.

may the watchers become warriors,

let the men of God arise.

Chorus

Background:

seek justice, love mercy, walk humbly with your God

seek justice, love mercy, walk humbly with your God

Lead singer:

In the war of the mind i will make my stand,

in the battle of the heart, in the battle of the hands.

in the war of the mind i will make my stand,

in the battle of the heart,

As I mentioned, Ryan is young. We are young parents, just starting out. But I think that he can lead his generation. He is on the front line for us. I am so proud of him. The whole theme of the conference was connecting with children from hard places. But we are going to make sure that we first connect with God, connect in our marriage, connect with Brody, connect with family and friends, and then when we finally are able to physically connect with our children in Ethiopia, we will learn to connect with them. 

As Christians, we were made to be courageous...not watcher on the sidelines. So get out there...whatever connections you have, really connect. 

And please listen to this song :)

Lessons

I already know this post is going to be all over the place. It's been quite a while since I typed out any of my thoughts, but oh have I had thoughts. :) If this doesn't make sense to you at all..sorry, please try to decode it as best you can and I will be back with some pictures of our adorable son soon.

Some things I have learned lately...

I love The Olympics-I was completely obsessed with the Olympics and Ryan and I both got twitter accounts so we could follow Olympians. I. LOVE. THE. OLYMPICS. I only cried like twice during each event (maybe just once during the 100 meter race). Oscar Pistorius..cannot contain my emotions about this man and his story. We're considering moving to GB to see if the accents rub off. My brother-in-law was spotted on the Today Show-Olympic version (yep, he was cool enough to actually go to the Olympics and even saw Michael Phelps become an Olympic legend). Sometimes (actually all the time) there are losers. Some people don't even finish their races-these were some of the hardest moments to watch. Working your whole life and then something goes wrong. UHH..it hurts my heart. I am thankful for this verse..."I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." 2 Timothy 4:7 There aren't many things that I could be best at in this world, so I am just going to try and finish this race with my faith.

God provides- I cannot even express how amazing God has been in providing what we need. We feel like He told us that we were supposed to pursue the adoption of TWO children and that He would provide the funds. Well, I can't really even tell you all the ways that God has provided but he has sent some amazing people into our lives. Laura Beth Lamb hosted a 31 party for us and just GAVE us all the money she would have made off of the party. This is part of her family's livelihood and she just GAVE it to to us. So many people placed orders and came to the party and even decided to host a party themselves that benefits US. All I had to do for this party was give her names of people to invite. THAT'S ALL. And we made almost $400 just because someone wanted to do something to support us. Oh and she lives in Indiana.

I had a friend just go buy my child a bunch of fall/winter clothes. She picked out amazing and sweet clothes that she knew I would love and that looked like Brody and when I asked her how much I owed her, she said..absolutely nothing..enjoy. Wow.

People have handed me cards and I was excited about the kind note of encouragement and when I realized they were giving us money, I of course..cried.

We've had friends donate a large amount of money to us when I know they have a lot going on themselves.

Women have given me their children's hand me downs.

We sold our furniture on Craigslist and the couple who bought our bed and large dresser gave us an extra $100 because we told them about our adoption plans.

I got a random phone call from a survey who wanted to ask me a few questions about vaccinating our child and if I did she'd send me $30...I got that check today.

We got a check from Blue Cross that was for something about something,..I don't know..but it was unexpected money.

We have sold t-shirts....which, by the way..are now becoming back in stock and there are NEW shirts available on the website, even more coming in soon. (Click the link on the side of this blog if you are interested)

I'm not trying to brag or reveal a lot of our financial business that some people may find to be private..but I want you to know that God provides! If you have ever dismissed the idea of adoption because of the money..please contact me! We aren't there yet but we KNOW that we can do it. I don't expect all the cash to just be handed to us...trust me. We are working really hard on saving and just not spending. But God is really taking care of us. Why am I shocked over these things?

We have some wonderful people in our lives-Now I'm going to be honest, there were times when we first began this journey that we weren't sure if we were in the right "circle" for adoption. We knew people would be sweet and excited but we weren't sure if we would feel like they "got it" or if we needed friends who had adopted also because we had that in common. OUR FRIENDS ARE AMAZING. They have been so supportive and helpful and loving and caring and wanting to ask about it and praying and doing so much more.... One time I read something that said something like this, your friends may not want to adopt just because you are adopting, and that's okay,  but they will want to help you and do anything they can for you, that is their part. This is going to be a LONG road and just because our sweet friends and family aren't headed this way doesn't mean they won't walk with us along the way. It means the world to us!!!! I'm sorry for my doubts or worries in the beginning...they don't say that adoption will help you grow for no reason. My eyes are opened to what other people are doing to open their hearts, minds, planners, and wallets for our children.  I love the friends I have, thank you for your support.

Patience is something you have to want in order to obtain-For a few weeks we were anxiously awaiting "The Ethiopia book". It is the instructions on how to complete the paperwork process and much more, from our agency. It needed some revising and the world does not revolve around us (so we hear) so, it took longer than we wanted it to for us to be e-mailed this important document.

I went to a pretty dark place for a while. I would check my e-mail 637 times a day and sink lower and lower each time I saw no e-mail. When Ryan would come home it became his fault that adoption takes a long time and I refused to leave my house because of the Olympics so I was in a black hole for a couple weeks.

People..this is not good. I wasn't trying to be patient. I was trying to make the e-mail appear in my inbox by checking it without ceasing. I think I should have been doing something else without ceasing..praying for our children. Praying for our marriage. Praying for Brody. Praying for our case worker and his family and be thankful for the work he does. Praying for those who are seriously hurting and sick.

I've got to get a different strategy because I don't even know WAITING yet. I can't imagine what it will be to wait when I actually have pictures and names to wait on..

From now on, I don't want to be crazy. Sure, I will have some hard times..but not because I choose to wallow in the waiting. I'll do better..and please, occasionally, force me to leave my home.

I always tell Brody that patience is waiting nicely, even when its hard. I will be trying to wait more nicely in the future.

BY THE WAY-We did get the Ethiopia Book! I was standing on the beach and checked my e-mail (gotta love a smart phone) and I jumped on Ryan's foot, he scowled at me and then we hugged!! So we are working on that now!! Hopefully we can have everything finished and our ducks in a row in a couple weeks! I had to order a new passport and some other documents that will take a little bit. But please pray for all of this to go smoothly!

I've got a great husband- He listens to me. He strives to make me happy. Sometimes I am difficult. He leads our family in the way that is right with God as his compass. He has compassion for others and is such a good daddy! I know he will be so good with our other children. Ryan is my best friend.

I've got a problem and it's called the Christie Cookie Chocolate Chip Sandwich Cookie. Worth. Every. Calorie. And then some.

Today's weather made me giddy. I went on a run this morning and I am so so excited for Fall. Ahh...Seasons, a little treat from God. He knew we would get bored with one climate.

I am so thankful for the health of my family. We aren't going to have these young healthy bodies forever. I am going to focus less on what this body of mine looks like and more on if it is healthy and fit to serve God and my family.

Man I love blogging...I will be back soon. My head feels so clear.

Moving Along

Yesterday we had our home study interviews. The word I would use to describe the whole thing would be...fabulous. God is so present in all of the decisions we make and I'm not sure why it continues to surprise us that He leads us to the right choices when we ask for His guidance. Our agency is amazing and our case worker could not have been any better suited for us. Our agency is so proactive in finding homes for children in need and I really admire the hard work they do and the sacrifices they make. God is using them so well! 


I cannot speak for other adoptive families but the home study interviews were nothing to fret about. Ryan and I are pretty much open books so it wasn't too hard for us. They just want to make sure that children are being put into a better situation than what they are coming from. Sadly..some children are put into worse environments and that is what the home study is trying to prevent. It's a really necessary step and we are just excited to be moving along! 


The thing we were most nervous about before hand were the answers we may get to some questions we wanted to ask him.


What is the wait time to receive a referral? About 9 months (like a pregnancy) and he thinks that is getting shorter. There is always a disclaimer that it could be much longer or that something terrible could happen, but we signed up knowing those things but hoping for the best. 


We want to make sure that we do not have the mindset of please go find us a child...but here we are, ready..when a child needs us..we will love them. Families for orphans..not orphans for families. 


When we started this process we decided we would be "open to siblings." Meaning, we would accept a referral for a blood related pair of siblings. Our hearts started to be changed and softened and instead of "open" we were now "hoping for siblings." The problem is that we have a young child and we would like him to remain the oldest child in our family. So unless there were twins needing a home, we would probably  receive a referral for one child. 


So our next question was "Can we adopt TWO non-blood related children at the same time?"  Yes...a lot of families do it, Ethiopia will allow it, you can do that. Sure. 


Will it take a lot longer to get a referral for two children? It will take longer probably, but not crazy long, and things are looking better all the time anyway. 


So, are you saying you are open to two children or you are seeking to adopt two? We want to be a family of 5.


Will you please write down that we WANT to adopt two children? That is what we are requesting. Two children born after May 31, 2011. Boys or girls or one of each. We would like to adopt two. Okay, great.


How many of those fees are doubled? Most of them you just pay half on the second child. And of course you travel only 2 times and not 2 for each child. One home study fee. 


Our social worker leaves.


Did we just tell him we wanted to adopt two children? Yes, and I am so excited about that. 


Why two?
Why not?


Can I physically and emotionally handle being a stay at home mom to what will probably be three toddlers? Not on my own..but with God and my husband and an army of friends, yes I think I can. 


Can we afford it? We are really leaping out in faith and trusting that God will provide and we have already seen evidence of that within 24 hours of our meeting. 


What about Brody, do I feel bad that two more children will take even more attention away from him? These babies that will be ours one day are orphans right now. God gives mommies and daddies the ability to spread out their love to many children. I am praying for Brody's sweet heart to understand and he love his new siblings! 


So there it is..we are in the process of adopting two children. Our prayers are for our children in Ethiopia. 

The Money

Many people don't know a lot about adoption and the process that families go through. What a lot of people do know is that it is not cheap. As adoptive parents we have put our trust in God that He will give us the strength to get through the waiting, the love and wisdom to get through any hardships that may come, the comfort to deal with the sadness and loss involved, and yes..that He will provide the funds to make it possible.

God has blessed Ryan with a great job and through that many opportunities. We have a great home that we have been able to improve as we wish. I get to stay home with Brody. We have been able to avoid debt and pay off my school loans. He gave Ryan a brain that seems to understand numbers and how to manage money, and he gave me enough respect for Ryan to just listen to what he told me about when we should spend money and how much to save. We have made some impulsive decisions and probably wasted money along the way. There have been some unexpected expenses that we were prepared for but not really planning. (Like Brody having to stay at Vanderbilt for 3 days because he wouldn't produce wet diapers) We have managed and done well. That being said, adoption is expensive. We need God's help!

How are you going to pay for it? 
This is a common question that we are either asked, or that some people probably want to ask. So I will answer it.

• We have some savings
• Budget means something a little different now, and going over is frowned upon 
• We have some stuff for sale on Craigslist and Ebay..we don't need a lot of the stuff we have and if we can make a few dollars on it..great
• Laura Beth Lamb is hosting a Thirty One party for us and DONATING all of her commission to our adoption. If you would like to place an order with her..follow this link.  http://www.mythirtyone.com/shop/catalog.aspx?eventId=E1925892&from=DIRECTLINK
• You don't have to pay for adoption all at once, it is broken down into different fees over the whole process. Right now we have NO idea when we will travel to Ethiopia so we can't buy those tickets now.
• 147 Million Orphans has an amazing program that helps adoptive families by selling their gear and giving the proceeds to those families..and we are one of them. If you would like to purchase some really pretty clothing or accessories, please click the button on the side of this blog (the t-shirt) and anything you order will help us bring that baby home! Please share this blog with your friends if they are interested in purchasing something..make sure they follow the link on the blog! 

Home

Let me just share with you all that when people tell you that adoption will teach you patience..they are right. This is not a complaint, it's just a fact. We were fully aware of what we were getting into so we are using it to let God mold us into stronger Christians. The end result of this adoption will be wonderful, but the things that have to happen for our family to grow this way, are anything but wonderful. There is going to be heartache, abandonment, loss, grief, fear, and sadness. The word orphan is not happy, its sad. But if anyone can bring beauty from the ashes..its God.

As I mentioned before, some parts of adoption are a little hard to wait on. Ryan and I get really excited if we get an e-mail from our agency (which they are great about communication, they don't make us wait). So there was definitely some jumping up and down and thanksgiving when we found out that our first home study visit was scheduled! The NEXT step, progress, more validation that this is real. We prayed hard for our home study to be scheduled within a certain amount of time and God answered YES to that!

What is a home study? Well, I will know more in about a week..seeing as I haven't been involved in one yet, I may not be the best person to answer this question. However, I can share with you what we have read and been told about them. Our awesome case worker will come and visit us in our very clean home next week. He will ask us a lot of questions and probably answer a lot of questions. An assessment will be made about the suitability of our home for raising children. We'll give a tour, we'll probably get personal, and I don't plan on being offended for one moment. Right now I am not even nervous because I feel we have nothing to hide or to be ashamed of. We are NOT perfect. But pretty much all we want to do is love another child and whatever we need to do to make that happen..it's fine with me.

The adoption process isn't perfect and smooth all the time. I am sure there are things that some people would change about it. We are going to endure though, because, once again..end result..wonderful. The other night I was lying in bed just crying...adoption hormones. I was thinking about some of the really sad things in this world. My child who may suffer from things ranging from hunger to abuse. People who just die too young. Homelessness. Cancer. Child Soldiers. Adultery. Murder. Poverty. Sin. Hell. Sometimes if you open your eyes to the sad things in this world it can be like a weight just crushing you. But sometimes, it can make you so grateful that God designed something to come after this life.

 There is not a good answer for "Why?" The only one I can come up with is This is Not home. 


So, like Ryan and I know that our new family will be worth it all, so is this life. No matter how tough..Heaven will surely be worth it all.