Moving Along

Yesterday we had our home study interviews. The word I would use to describe the whole thing would be...fabulous. God is so present in all of the decisions we make and I'm not sure why it continues to surprise us that He leads us to the right choices when we ask for His guidance. Our agency is amazing and our case worker could not have been any better suited for us. Our agency is so proactive in finding homes for children in need and I really admire the hard work they do and the sacrifices they make. God is using them so well! 


I cannot speak for other adoptive families but the home study interviews were nothing to fret about. Ryan and I are pretty much open books so it wasn't too hard for us. They just want to make sure that children are being put into a better situation than what they are coming from. Sadly..some children are put into worse environments and that is what the home study is trying to prevent. It's a really necessary step and we are just excited to be moving along! 


The thing we were most nervous about before hand were the answers we may get to some questions we wanted to ask him.


What is the wait time to receive a referral? About 9 months (like a pregnancy) and he thinks that is getting shorter. There is always a disclaimer that it could be much longer or that something terrible could happen, but we signed up knowing those things but hoping for the best. 


We want to make sure that we do not have the mindset of please go find us a child...but here we are, ready..when a child needs us..we will love them. Families for orphans..not orphans for families. 


When we started this process we decided we would be "open to siblings." Meaning, we would accept a referral for a blood related pair of siblings. Our hearts started to be changed and softened and instead of "open" we were now "hoping for siblings." The problem is that we have a young child and we would like him to remain the oldest child in our family. So unless there were twins needing a home, we would probably  receive a referral for one child. 


So our next question was "Can we adopt TWO non-blood related children at the same time?"  Yes...a lot of families do it, Ethiopia will allow it, you can do that. Sure. 


Will it take a lot longer to get a referral for two children? It will take longer probably, but not crazy long, and things are looking better all the time anyway. 


So, are you saying you are open to two children or you are seeking to adopt two? We want to be a family of 5.


Will you please write down that we WANT to adopt two children? That is what we are requesting. Two children born after May 31, 2011. Boys or girls or one of each. We would like to adopt two. Okay, great.


How many of those fees are doubled? Most of them you just pay half on the second child. And of course you travel only 2 times and not 2 for each child. One home study fee. 


Our social worker leaves.


Did we just tell him we wanted to adopt two children? Yes, and I am so excited about that. 


Why two?
Why not?


Can I physically and emotionally handle being a stay at home mom to what will probably be three toddlers? Not on my own..but with God and my husband and an army of friends, yes I think I can. 


Can we afford it? We are really leaping out in faith and trusting that God will provide and we have already seen evidence of that within 24 hours of our meeting. 


What about Brody, do I feel bad that two more children will take even more attention away from him? These babies that will be ours one day are orphans right now. God gives mommies and daddies the ability to spread out their love to many children. I am praying for Brody's sweet heart to understand and he love his new siblings! 


So there it is..we are in the process of adopting two children. Our prayers are for our children in Ethiopia. 

The Money

Many people don't know a lot about adoption and the process that families go through. What a lot of people do know is that it is not cheap. As adoptive parents we have put our trust in God that He will give us the strength to get through the waiting, the love and wisdom to get through any hardships that may come, the comfort to deal with the sadness and loss involved, and yes..that He will provide the funds to make it possible.

God has blessed Ryan with a great job and through that many opportunities. We have a great home that we have been able to improve as we wish. I get to stay home with Brody. We have been able to avoid debt and pay off my school loans. He gave Ryan a brain that seems to understand numbers and how to manage money, and he gave me enough respect for Ryan to just listen to what he told me about when we should spend money and how much to save. We have made some impulsive decisions and probably wasted money along the way. There have been some unexpected expenses that we were prepared for but not really planning. (Like Brody having to stay at Vanderbilt for 3 days because he wouldn't produce wet diapers) We have managed and done well. That being said, adoption is expensive. We need God's help!

How are you going to pay for it? 
This is a common question that we are either asked, or that some people probably want to ask. So I will answer it.

• We have some savings
• Budget means something a little different now, and going over is frowned upon 
• We have some stuff for sale on Craigslist and Ebay..we don't need a lot of the stuff we have and if we can make a few dollars on it..great
• Laura Beth Lamb is hosting a Thirty One party for us and DONATING all of her commission to our adoption. If you would like to place an order with her..follow this link.  http://www.mythirtyone.com/shop/catalog.aspx?eventId=E1925892&from=DIRECTLINK
• You don't have to pay for adoption all at once, it is broken down into different fees over the whole process. Right now we have NO idea when we will travel to Ethiopia so we can't buy those tickets now.
• 147 Million Orphans has an amazing program that helps adoptive families by selling their gear and giving the proceeds to those families..and we are one of them. If you would like to purchase some really pretty clothing or accessories, please click the button on the side of this blog (the t-shirt) and anything you order will help us bring that baby home! Please share this blog with your friends if they are interested in purchasing something..make sure they follow the link on the blog! 

Home

Let me just share with you all that when people tell you that adoption will teach you patience..they are right. This is not a complaint, it's just a fact. We were fully aware of what we were getting into so we are using it to let God mold us into stronger Christians. The end result of this adoption will be wonderful, but the things that have to happen for our family to grow this way, are anything but wonderful. There is going to be heartache, abandonment, loss, grief, fear, and sadness. The word orphan is not happy, its sad. But if anyone can bring beauty from the ashes..its God.

As I mentioned before, some parts of adoption are a little hard to wait on. Ryan and I get really excited if we get an e-mail from our agency (which they are great about communication, they don't make us wait). So there was definitely some jumping up and down and thanksgiving when we found out that our first home study visit was scheduled! The NEXT step, progress, more validation that this is real. We prayed hard for our home study to be scheduled within a certain amount of time and God answered YES to that!

What is a home study? Well, I will know more in about a week..seeing as I haven't been involved in one yet, I may not be the best person to answer this question. However, I can share with you what we have read and been told about them. Our awesome case worker will come and visit us in our very clean home next week. He will ask us a lot of questions and probably answer a lot of questions. An assessment will be made about the suitability of our home for raising children. We'll give a tour, we'll probably get personal, and I don't plan on being offended for one moment. Right now I am not even nervous because I feel we have nothing to hide or to be ashamed of. We are NOT perfect. But pretty much all we want to do is love another child and whatever we need to do to make that happen..it's fine with me.

The adoption process isn't perfect and smooth all the time. I am sure there are things that some people would change about it. We are going to endure though, because, once again..end result..wonderful. The other night I was lying in bed just crying...adoption hormones. I was thinking about some of the really sad things in this world. My child who may suffer from things ranging from hunger to abuse. People who just die too young. Homelessness. Cancer. Child Soldiers. Adultery. Murder. Poverty. Sin. Hell. Sometimes if you open your eyes to the sad things in this world it can be like a weight just crushing you. But sometimes, it can make you so grateful that God designed something to come after this life.

 There is not a good answer for "Why?" The only one I can come up with is This is Not home. 


So, like Ryan and I know that our new family will be worth it all, so is this life. No matter how tough..Heaven will surely be worth it all. 

Why Ethiopia?

First of all, we cannot express to you the joy it gives us to have the encouragement, support, and mostly prayers of so many people as we begin this walk. The outpouring of love just showed us once again, that this is the right thing for our family RIGHT now. No questions..this is God's will for us. So thank you, to anyone who has shown your support to us or even if it was just before God and we haven't had the chance to talk yet, thank you!!

When we shared our news with family and friends it usually went something like this...after some sort of clever or not so clever lead in...
"Well, we are in the process of adopting from Ethiopia!"
Some people just immediately got excited.
Others responded with "Really?! Tell me more.."
Some of my favorite times were when people hugged us and said, that is great, or even teared up.
But of course, no matter what the initial reaction..for many people, there were questions.
We would like to answer some of those questions starting with "Why Ethiopia?"


Let me just first say that a child in need of a family, whether they be in my city or on any of the other continents, is a precious child of God who deserves to be loved, cherished, fed, clothed, and taught about Jesus. While it's tough to say exactly how many orphans there are in the world (see here, here, and here), the estimates in the references sited range from 132,000,000 to 163,000,000. Regardless, the number is staggering and we had to pick a place to start. We picked Ethiopia.


Bottom line answer is this..there is a great need for orphans in Ethiopia. Unfathomable. Heartbreaking.


We felt led to choose this country and went with it. I was so blessed to work at Harpeth Hills Preschool before Brody was born and through that job I was able to watch 3 different families bring home sweet children from Ethiopia. I was familiar with the process and felt comfortable with it.


We borrowed this video from another adoptive family, but I think it just about sums everything up.

Growing Continents Apart

Our first choice for our second child is adoption.

The Hysmiths have begun the process of adopting from Ethiopia! If your geography is a little poor, that would be Africa.

For as long as we can remember, adoption has been a part of our family plan. The where, when, and how many were usually not really something we thought about and just put the topic of adoption in the file drawer labeled "someday." Soon after Brody was born we naturally (as good, content people do) started planning and talking about the next steps for our family. How close together do we want children, where will we live when we have more than one child (because there is NO way our kids can share a room and we have to have a guest room..duh), and what kind of car should we get to accommodate our rapidly growing family?

During this time of "planning" I was following internet stalking some people's adoption stories. I would share with Ryan all of the triumphs and the sad moments that these families were experiencing and then I would cry big tears when I saw their pictures of airport homecomings and meeting their precious babies for the first time. I looked at families I knew and searched the blogosphere, looking for that perfect answer on "When is the best time to adopt?" As I did this, I got a little "unsettled."

What started out as a whisper started to become a shout.We began to pray for direction and for an answer to our question, "God, is this what you want for us right now?" Through God's Word and by the example of some people we really respect we have come to know these things:

• The things of this Earth will pass away. The things we are able to accumulate don't matter at all. The things we do to affect other people and bring others to His Kingdom really matter.
• Skin color does not matter. Any kind of prejudice or racism is a sin. We need to look at people the way God does, as  precious children of His.
• God has a plan for everyone and He guides us each step of the way. 
• We have been given so much...and we feel like much is required of us.
• We love being a mommy and daddy and that is not going to be limited to children that grow in my tummy.
• God has aligned my and Ryan's hearts and minds for a reason. 
• The more a married couple studies and meditates on God's Word together, the closer they become. 
• RIGHT NOW is the best time to answer God's call for you. Whatever it is, if you feel a little tug or urging to do something, right now is a great time to start that. 

So now....We wait. We pray. We hope. We love. We trust. We work.We grow. We pray. We wait. We pray. We pray. We pray. 

Brody is ONE!

I cannot believe my itty bitty baby boy is ONE year old.

A few words about Brody

He is almost always perfect when we are out in public. He's a good boy during church and I hope he is learning that sometimes little boys need to sit still and remain quiet. Brody loves people and he smiles a lot, which makes me think he will be friendly to everyone..which is what we will teach him to do. He loves to carry stuffed animals and blankets around, which shows me his tender side, even though he's a boy. 

This has been the best year of my life. Ever. I have learned so much by having this new person in my life. Throughout this year I have probably been more tired than ever before and more scared than ever before. But I truly believe that this little boy in my life has helped me to grow closer to God and see clearer than I ever have before. 

I am naturally a little (really) lazy and sometimes (often) selfish. But you see, when you are a mother, especially of an infant, you cannot be either of those things. At least on the outside. So, this girl who is a procrastinator at heart and self centered in my thoughts, would get up out of bed when her baby cried, she would hold him all day long if that is what he needed, she would rock him lovingly and pray for him at 4 am and smile at him as he fussed about who knows what? I have given so much to my son, physically and emotionally and I would do everything I can to please him. I finally realized that these traits I am learning as a mother, are not only intended for my child. My husband deserves unselfishness too and a woman is to work from before sun up to beyond sun down (Proverbs 31) to serve her entire household. What I learned this year is this...it's not..about..ME. I am a true work in progress but at least my "light" is finally on.

A few facts about Brody

• He loves fruit, of any kind, especially berries, but we think they make him spit up
• Pluto is his favorite stuffed animal
• He giggles a lot
• Polar Bear, Polar Bear What Do You Hear? is his favorite book
• His hatred for his car seat wore off at about 6 months and he is now pleasant to ride with
• He's a pretty great sleeper at night..naps are dependent on the day
• Bath time and now the pool are pretty exciting
• The stroller...not really his favorite place to be
• He loves tiny things in his hands, preferably one for each hand
• Pointing is his new skill, sometimes this is helpful other times, extremely confusing
• He says 5 words, uh-oh, Mama, Dada, Bye Bye, and Hey
• Pacifiers are our friend
• He has the sweetest smile and shares it often
• He loves the ginormous bear that his daddy got him for his birthday
• Being outside is always better than being inside
• He likes to eat
• TV may as well not exist
• Music makes him happy
• Books are our current favorite activity
• The noise machine helps him sleep and entertains him during the day
• He can open and close the doors in our house
• The toilet is not safe just because the lid is down 
• He can pull 100 tissues out of a Kleenex boy in about 10 seconds
• You better watch him if he's playing in the pantry, there might just be oatmeal all over the floor if you don't
• He gets SO excited when daddy comes home
• Brody gets lots of special gifts from his 4 grandparents and his Uncle Ross
• He finally realized that toys are for playing with and not just for taking up space
• He has a mommy and daddy who love him SO much
• If he grows up to be like his daddy, he will be doing just fine

Some photos from his party..thanks for all his sweet friends who came!

We had some sweet newborn pictures under these hydrangeas!

He liked the cupcake a lot!

All he kids with the bear

sweet Tinley

We don't get to see this cutie very often, love her and her parents..Lauren, Joseph, and Elise

Nate, Andrea & Lexi biked over

Really hard to get 2 babies to look!

Grady is a sweet heart!

California Baby

This is not the most timely post I have ever written..but it's an important one.

In May we were blessed to go on an amazing vacation to La Quinta just outside of Palm Springs, California! For all intents and purposes I just told everyone we were headed to Palm Springs. That's where we flew into and that is what people have heard of, it is also not the name of a budget friendly hotel chain.

We left extremely early on a Saturday morning, waking Brody up at about 5:00 am. Thankfully he must have sensed that we were waking up for something fun and he was in a good mood. Some of our best friends, Will and Sarah Kersey went with us, they were equally excited to  be leaving so early. (insert a little bit of sarcasm.) They were extremely pleasant as always, just maybe not quite awake yet.

The flight-Brody gets about 100 gold stars for being an awesome airplane baby! We really planned out our packing and even bought Brody a new backpack and lunchbox for all his entertainment and snacks. Brody had 3 dirty diapers on the first flight, he tee teed all over me, and he never went to sleep..but I was so excited that he didn't have any melt downs that I didn't even care. He fell asleep for about 30 minutes on the 2nd flight after I read Where is Baby's Bellybutton about 15 times over and over. As soon as his eyes shut we began our descent. (He never napped again all day long and was as happy as can be!)

Palm Springs-The airport there is all open air and you walk outside form your terminal to baggage claim and there are no clouds. We found all of our suitcases and golf clubs and after leaving them one arm and one leg ("California tax")..we took our rental car, rental car seat, bags, and the 5 of us and headed out to a parking lot that was about One Million degrees in the nice desert 108 degrees. :) It was an awesome drive to our house and checking out the landscape and the different looking architecture. The mountains were gorgeous!

The House-Incredible..we had our own pool and everything we could possibly need in the kitchen and around the house. We didn't really have room for may toys for Brody but it didn't matter because they had plenty of coasters, tiny shampoo bottles, and a tiny couch for a little dog. What more can I child need? We unpacked and then headed out to Costco and Wal Mart...no, Palm Springs is not too good for these places.

We loaded up on food for the week and then headed back to SWIM!! Brody wasn't sure about swimming for about 5 minutes and then he LOVED it so much. He isn't scared of water, he will gladly stick his face in, and the higher you can throw him, the better. Then the boys grilled hot dogs and we sat out by the pool as the sun went down and felt pure contentment wash over us.

On Sunday we tuned into the Crieve Hall worship service online and had a nice worship service out by the pool and just relaxed and enjoyed the day. The rest of the week you can pretty much say that Sarah and Brody and I did NOTHING most of the time, just swam, read, ate, talked, and played and it was amazing. The boys played golf on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

Friday we took a somewhat scary (rotating) tram ride way up this mountain and then hiked around and took pictures, climbed rocks, got winded, and admired God's creation. It was much cooler at the top of the mountain and it was a really enjoyable day. The only time Brody melted down on this whole trip was on the way home from this activity. He fell asleep for about 15 minutes and woke up absolutely furious about something. We got home, gave him food, and then he played in the pool for the rest of the evening.

Random information-Sarah and I got mani/pedis and massages. Ryan and I actually got to go on a fun dinner date one night after Brody went to bed and Will and Sarah kindly stayed with him. Somehow the Kerseys came back from like a -300 score in Rook and beat us. Brody napped 3+ hours each day and slept over 12 hours at night. The boys bought too much ice cream for us to eat in one week. 108 degrees is not as hot as you would think in the desert, but the concrete around the pool will burn your flesh on the bottom of your feet. Pandora is one of the best apps you can have on your phone. Brody is getting a little heavy to carry in the Baby Bjorn for more than a few minutes. We love Will and Sarah and Brody LOVES them too. I am better at catching a frisbee than some people would have guessed. I read 2 1/2 books on this trip. We are pretty awesome at packing light. Renting a house is really nice when you have a baby.It is really hard to get sunscreen all over a wiggly baby! We are extremely blessed!!!!!

The view from my reading spot by the pool

My cutie ready to swim!

Brody's thoughts on putting sunscreen on each day

The tiny shampoo lover

date night!

On the tram ride

top of the mountain

Uncle Will and Aunt Sarah

Will and Sarah climbed up really high

My 2 loves!