The Money

Many people don't know a lot about adoption and the process that families go through. What a lot of people do know is that it is not cheap. As adoptive parents we have put our trust in God that He will give us the strength to get through the waiting, the love and wisdom to get through any hardships that may come, the comfort to deal with the sadness and loss involved, and yes..that He will provide the funds to make it possible.

God has blessed Ryan with a great job and through that many opportunities. We have a great home that we have been able to improve as we wish. I get to stay home with Brody. We have been able to avoid debt and pay off my school loans. He gave Ryan a brain that seems to understand numbers and how to manage money, and he gave me enough respect for Ryan to just listen to what he told me about when we should spend money and how much to save. We have made some impulsive decisions and probably wasted money along the way. There have been some unexpected expenses that we were prepared for but not really planning. (Like Brody having to stay at Vanderbilt for 3 days because he wouldn't produce wet diapers) We have managed and done well. That being said, adoption is expensive. We need God's help!

How are you going to pay for it? 
This is a common question that we are either asked, or that some people probably want to ask. So I will answer it.

• We have some savings
• Budget means something a little different now, and going over is frowned upon 
• We have some stuff for sale on Craigslist and Ebay..we don't need a lot of the stuff we have and if we can make a few dollars on it..great
• Laura Beth Lamb is hosting a Thirty One party for us and DONATING all of her commission to our adoption. If you would like to place an order with her..follow this link.  http://www.mythirtyone.com/shop/catalog.aspx?eventId=E1925892&from=DIRECTLINK
• You don't have to pay for adoption all at once, it is broken down into different fees over the whole process. Right now we have NO idea when we will travel to Ethiopia so we can't buy those tickets now.
• 147 Million Orphans has an amazing program that helps adoptive families by selling their gear and giving the proceeds to those families..and we are one of them. If you would like to purchase some really pretty clothing or accessories, please click the button on the side of this blog (the t-shirt) and anything you order will help us bring that baby home! Please share this blog with your friends if they are interested in purchasing something..make sure they follow the link on the blog! 

Home

Let me just share with you all that when people tell you that adoption will teach you patience..they are right. This is not a complaint, it's just a fact. We were fully aware of what we were getting into so we are using it to let God mold us into stronger Christians. The end result of this adoption will be wonderful, but the things that have to happen for our family to grow this way, are anything but wonderful. There is going to be heartache, abandonment, loss, grief, fear, and sadness. The word orphan is not happy, its sad. But if anyone can bring beauty from the ashes..its God.

As I mentioned before, some parts of adoption are a little hard to wait on. Ryan and I get really excited if we get an e-mail from our agency (which they are great about communication, they don't make us wait). So there was definitely some jumping up and down and thanksgiving when we found out that our first home study visit was scheduled! The NEXT step, progress, more validation that this is real. We prayed hard for our home study to be scheduled within a certain amount of time and God answered YES to that!

What is a home study? Well, I will know more in about a week..seeing as I haven't been involved in one yet, I may not be the best person to answer this question. However, I can share with you what we have read and been told about them. Our awesome case worker will come and visit us in our very clean home next week. He will ask us a lot of questions and probably answer a lot of questions. An assessment will be made about the suitability of our home for raising children. We'll give a tour, we'll probably get personal, and I don't plan on being offended for one moment. Right now I am not even nervous because I feel we have nothing to hide or to be ashamed of. We are NOT perfect. But pretty much all we want to do is love another child and whatever we need to do to make that happen..it's fine with me.

The adoption process isn't perfect and smooth all the time. I am sure there are things that some people would change about it. We are going to endure though, because, once again..end result..wonderful. The other night I was lying in bed just crying...adoption hormones. I was thinking about some of the really sad things in this world. My child who may suffer from things ranging from hunger to abuse. People who just die too young. Homelessness. Cancer. Child Soldiers. Adultery. Murder. Poverty. Sin. Hell. Sometimes if you open your eyes to the sad things in this world it can be like a weight just crushing you. But sometimes, it can make you so grateful that God designed something to come after this life.

 There is not a good answer for "Why?" The only one I can come up with is This is Not home. 


So, like Ryan and I know that our new family will be worth it all, so is this life. No matter how tough..Heaven will surely be worth it all. 

Why Ethiopia?

First of all, we cannot express to you the joy it gives us to have the encouragement, support, and mostly prayers of so many people as we begin this walk. The outpouring of love just showed us once again, that this is the right thing for our family RIGHT now. No questions..this is God's will for us. So thank you, to anyone who has shown your support to us or even if it was just before God and we haven't had the chance to talk yet, thank you!!

When we shared our news with family and friends it usually went something like this...after some sort of clever or not so clever lead in...
"Well, we are in the process of adopting from Ethiopia!"
Some people just immediately got excited.
Others responded with "Really?! Tell me more.."
Some of my favorite times were when people hugged us and said, that is great, or even teared up.
But of course, no matter what the initial reaction..for many people, there were questions.
We would like to answer some of those questions starting with "Why Ethiopia?"


Let me just first say that a child in need of a family, whether they be in my city or on any of the other continents, is a precious child of God who deserves to be loved, cherished, fed, clothed, and taught about Jesus. While it's tough to say exactly how many orphans there are in the world (see here, here, and here), the estimates in the references sited range from 132,000,000 to 163,000,000. Regardless, the number is staggering and we had to pick a place to start. We picked Ethiopia.


Bottom line answer is this..there is a great need for orphans in Ethiopia. Unfathomable. Heartbreaking.


We felt led to choose this country and went with it. I was so blessed to work at Harpeth Hills Preschool before Brody was born and through that job I was able to watch 3 different families bring home sweet children from Ethiopia. I was familiar with the process and felt comfortable with it.


We borrowed this video from another adoptive family, but I think it just about sums everything up.

Growing Continents Apart

Our first choice for our second child is adoption.

The Hysmiths have begun the process of adopting from Ethiopia! If your geography is a little poor, that would be Africa.

For as long as we can remember, adoption has been a part of our family plan. The where, when, and how many were usually not really something we thought about and just put the topic of adoption in the file drawer labeled "someday." Soon after Brody was born we naturally (as good, content people do) started planning and talking about the next steps for our family. How close together do we want children, where will we live when we have more than one child (because there is NO way our kids can share a room and we have to have a guest room..duh), and what kind of car should we get to accommodate our rapidly growing family?

During this time of "planning" I was following internet stalking some people's adoption stories. I would share with Ryan all of the triumphs and the sad moments that these families were experiencing and then I would cry big tears when I saw their pictures of airport homecomings and meeting their precious babies for the first time. I looked at families I knew and searched the blogosphere, looking for that perfect answer on "When is the best time to adopt?" As I did this, I got a little "unsettled."

What started out as a whisper started to become a shout.We began to pray for direction and for an answer to our question, "God, is this what you want for us right now?" Through God's Word and by the example of some people we really respect we have come to know these things:

• The things of this Earth will pass away. The things we are able to accumulate don't matter at all. The things we do to affect other people and bring others to His Kingdom really matter.
• Skin color does not matter. Any kind of prejudice or racism is a sin. We need to look at people the way God does, as  precious children of His.
• God has a plan for everyone and He guides us each step of the way. 
• We have been given so much...and we feel like much is required of us.
• We love being a mommy and daddy and that is not going to be limited to children that grow in my tummy.
• God has aligned my and Ryan's hearts and minds for a reason. 
• The more a married couple studies and meditates on God's Word together, the closer they become. 
• RIGHT NOW is the best time to answer God's call for you. Whatever it is, if you feel a little tug or urging to do something, right now is a great time to start that. 

So now....We wait. We pray. We hope. We love. We trust. We work.We grow. We pray. We wait. We pray. We pray. We pray. 

Brody is ONE!

I cannot believe my itty bitty baby boy is ONE year old.

A few words about Brody

He is almost always perfect when we are out in public. He's a good boy during church and I hope he is learning that sometimes little boys need to sit still and remain quiet. Brody loves people and he smiles a lot, which makes me think he will be friendly to everyone..which is what we will teach him to do. He loves to carry stuffed animals and blankets around, which shows me his tender side, even though he's a boy. 

This has been the best year of my life. Ever. I have learned so much by having this new person in my life. Throughout this year I have probably been more tired than ever before and more scared than ever before. But I truly believe that this little boy in my life has helped me to grow closer to God and see clearer than I ever have before. 

I am naturally a little (really) lazy and sometimes (often) selfish. But you see, when you are a mother, especially of an infant, you cannot be either of those things. At least on the outside. So, this girl who is a procrastinator at heart and self centered in my thoughts, would get up out of bed when her baby cried, she would hold him all day long if that is what he needed, she would rock him lovingly and pray for him at 4 am and smile at him as he fussed about who knows what? I have given so much to my son, physically and emotionally and I would do everything I can to please him. I finally realized that these traits I am learning as a mother, are not only intended for my child. My husband deserves unselfishness too and a woman is to work from before sun up to beyond sun down (Proverbs 31) to serve her entire household. What I learned this year is this...it's not..about..ME. I am a true work in progress but at least my "light" is finally on.

A few facts about Brody

• He loves fruit, of any kind, especially berries, but we think they make him spit up
• Pluto is his favorite stuffed animal
• He giggles a lot
• Polar Bear, Polar Bear What Do You Hear? is his favorite book
• His hatred for his car seat wore off at about 6 months and he is now pleasant to ride with
• He's a pretty great sleeper at night..naps are dependent on the day
• Bath time and now the pool are pretty exciting
• The stroller...not really his favorite place to be
• He loves tiny things in his hands, preferably one for each hand
• Pointing is his new skill, sometimes this is helpful other times, extremely confusing
• He says 5 words, uh-oh, Mama, Dada, Bye Bye, and Hey
• Pacifiers are our friend
• He has the sweetest smile and shares it often
• He loves the ginormous bear that his daddy got him for his birthday
• Being outside is always better than being inside
• He likes to eat
• TV may as well not exist
• Music makes him happy
• Books are our current favorite activity
• The noise machine helps him sleep and entertains him during the day
• He can open and close the doors in our house
• The toilet is not safe just because the lid is down 
• He can pull 100 tissues out of a Kleenex boy in about 10 seconds
• You better watch him if he's playing in the pantry, there might just be oatmeal all over the floor if you don't
• He gets SO excited when daddy comes home
• Brody gets lots of special gifts from his 4 grandparents and his Uncle Ross
• He finally realized that toys are for playing with and not just for taking up space
• He has a mommy and daddy who love him SO much
• If he grows up to be like his daddy, he will be doing just fine

Some photos from his party..thanks for all his sweet friends who came!

We had some sweet newborn pictures under these hydrangeas!

He liked the cupcake a lot!

All he kids with the bear

sweet Tinley

We don't get to see this cutie very often, love her and her parents..Lauren, Joseph, and Elise

Nate, Andrea & Lexi biked over

Really hard to get 2 babies to look!

Grady is a sweet heart!

California Baby

This is not the most timely post I have ever written..but it's an important one.

In May we were blessed to go on an amazing vacation to La Quinta just outside of Palm Springs, California! For all intents and purposes I just told everyone we were headed to Palm Springs. That's where we flew into and that is what people have heard of, it is also not the name of a budget friendly hotel chain.

We left extremely early on a Saturday morning, waking Brody up at about 5:00 am. Thankfully he must have sensed that we were waking up for something fun and he was in a good mood. Some of our best friends, Will and Sarah Kersey went with us, they were equally excited to  be leaving so early. (insert a little bit of sarcasm.) They were extremely pleasant as always, just maybe not quite awake yet.

The flight-Brody gets about 100 gold stars for being an awesome airplane baby! We really planned out our packing and even bought Brody a new backpack and lunchbox for all his entertainment and snacks. Brody had 3 dirty diapers on the first flight, he tee teed all over me, and he never went to sleep..but I was so excited that he didn't have any melt downs that I didn't even care. He fell asleep for about 30 minutes on the 2nd flight after I read Where is Baby's Bellybutton about 15 times over and over. As soon as his eyes shut we began our descent. (He never napped again all day long and was as happy as can be!)

Palm Springs-The airport there is all open air and you walk outside form your terminal to baggage claim and there are no clouds. We found all of our suitcases and golf clubs and after leaving them one arm and one leg ("California tax")..we took our rental car, rental car seat, bags, and the 5 of us and headed out to a parking lot that was about One Million degrees in the nice desert 108 degrees. :) It was an awesome drive to our house and checking out the landscape and the different looking architecture. The mountains were gorgeous!

The House-Incredible..we had our own pool and everything we could possibly need in the kitchen and around the house. We didn't really have room for may toys for Brody but it didn't matter because they had plenty of coasters, tiny shampoo bottles, and a tiny couch for a little dog. What more can I child need? We unpacked and then headed out to Costco and Wal Mart...no, Palm Springs is not too good for these places.

We loaded up on food for the week and then headed back to SWIM!! Brody wasn't sure about swimming for about 5 minutes and then he LOVED it so much. He isn't scared of water, he will gladly stick his face in, and the higher you can throw him, the better. Then the boys grilled hot dogs and we sat out by the pool as the sun went down and felt pure contentment wash over us.

On Sunday we tuned into the Crieve Hall worship service online and had a nice worship service out by the pool and just relaxed and enjoyed the day. The rest of the week you can pretty much say that Sarah and Brody and I did NOTHING most of the time, just swam, read, ate, talked, and played and it was amazing. The boys played golf on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

Friday we took a somewhat scary (rotating) tram ride way up this mountain and then hiked around and took pictures, climbed rocks, got winded, and admired God's creation. It was much cooler at the top of the mountain and it was a really enjoyable day. The only time Brody melted down on this whole trip was on the way home from this activity. He fell asleep for about 15 minutes and woke up absolutely furious about something. We got home, gave him food, and then he played in the pool for the rest of the evening.

Random information-Sarah and I got mani/pedis and massages. Ryan and I actually got to go on a fun dinner date one night after Brody went to bed and Will and Sarah kindly stayed with him. Somehow the Kerseys came back from like a -300 score in Rook and beat us. Brody napped 3+ hours each day and slept over 12 hours at night. The boys bought too much ice cream for us to eat in one week. 108 degrees is not as hot as you would think in the desert, but the concrete around the pool will burn your flesh on the bottom of your feet. Pandora is one of the best apps you can have on your phone. Brody is getting a little heavy to carry in the Baby Bjorn for more than a few minutes. We love Will and Sarah and Brody LOVES them too. I am better at catching a frisbee than some people would have guessed. I read 2 1/2 books on this trip. We are pretty awesome at packing light. Renting a house is really nice when you have a baby.It is really hard to get sunscreen all over a wiggly baby! We are extremely blessed!!!!!

The view from my reading spot by the pool

My cutie ready to swim!

Brody's thoughts on putting sunscreen on each day

The tiny shampoo lover

date night!

On the tram ride

top of the mountain

Uncle Will and Aunt Sarah

Will and Sarah climbed up really high

My 2 loves!

Housekeeping Schedule

If you ever find yourself standing in your house, looking around thinking, "Where do I even begin?" Then you are like me. And most of the time I feel so overwhelmed at all the things that need to be cleaned that I just give up. This week was the first week I used a cleaning schedule and it has made a really big difference!

The schedule and format I use are extremely official. I got a piece of white computer paper out of the printer and an orange Sharpie. (I think any color works, it doesn't have to be orange.)

Step 1: BRAINSTORM: I asked my husband to help me make 2 lists-Things that need to be done on a daily basis and things that need to be done each week at least one time.

Step 2: Once you have this list, decide what you want to do on which day and type it out, write it out, draw it, cut pictures out of magazines of people doing these tasks..somehow, make a chart..there are actually a lot of free templates online that you can use.

Step 3: Show it to your husband and see if he sees anything that needs to be moved around. Example: I planned to clean the frig out on Friday so that we could use up anything about to expire over the weekend and replenish on Mondays..but...trash day is on Wednesday so Ryan suggested to clean out the frig on Tuesdays so it doesn't get all stinky over the weekend and remain gross until Wednesday. OR If you tend to have company over the weekends, I would clean the bathrooms on Thursday so that you don't have to think on Friday when your guests are coming, "Are those bathrooms clean?"

Step 4: At the end of the week, decide if you have left anything out. Last night, as I was folding Brody's laundry I realized that I NEVER iron, but that it would be nice if I did. So I asked Ryan if he had a night that he wanted to devote to studying (he's getting his MBA) and I would use that night to iron a few things.

Here is my schedule:
Daily tasks-load/unload dishwasher and put away any hand washed dishes, do at least one load of laundry each day (more if necessary), pick up clutter, make beds, wipe off counters and sweep floor after meals

If the daily tasks already seem like a lot try this-3 times a day, set a timer for 10 minutes and do as much as you can in 10 minutes. If you're on a roll one of those times, keep working, if not..just work for 10 minutes..even if you have a baby on your hip or you're wanting to watch the next episode of something.
(This works well for husbands and children too...it's like a challenge, how much can you get done, ready. set. go.)

For your daily tasks, just think..what do you want to wake up to in the morning? Dishes in the sink? Toys and clothes lying around? That's up to you!

Weekly Tasks:
Monday- clean the bathrooms (we have 2), this means toilets, sinks, and the shower and tub. I don't worry about the floors yet, that's a different day. I usually grocery shop on Mondays too.

Tuesday-Empty trash cans (tomorrow is garbage day!), clean out the frig, and do some ironing ( I don't have a place to set up an ironing board and leave it, so I will probably do this for a few minutes at night once Brody goes to bed)

Wednesday-Wash sheets and put them back on beds, or wash and change them and put fresh ones in closet, use the Swiffer Vac

Thursday-Deep clean the kitchen (last night I filled up the sink with water, vinegar and baking soda and used that concoction on a rag to wipe behind appliances on the counter, wipe down the appliances themselves, clean off cabinets and stove top, and then finally clean the sink) and also I sweep and mop (wet Swiffer) the tile floors (2 bathrooms and the kitchen)

Friday-Dust (especially our ceiling fans..yuck!) and use our big vacuum cleaner (even use that little hose thing to get up under furniture)

Saturday and Sunday-Use these days for yard work, cleaning out the car of the mess we make each week, and to do any big projects or just catch up on something you didn't quite get to or needs more attention.

Important Reminders:
Your sweet hubby can certainly help with these tasks and probably wants to add one or two of his "manly" tasks to the list himself. Example: Ryan loves to work in the yard so he wants to do that a few days a week and he doesn't mind vacuuming. We really enjoy doing weekend catch up or projects together as a family. Have a little one that needs tons of attention and lots of weekend projects? Switch off doing the 10 minute clean up challenge and take turns working/playing with baby.

If you know you are always really busy on Tuesdays..don't say you're going to do much on that day. If you get on a roll one day and you're child is napping a long time or you have created an awesome Pandora station that is really motivating you..it's okay to work ahead, you may even get extra credit.

Always remember that a clean house isn't the most important thing!

Some people don't have a kitchen to clean, dinner to cook, or clothes to fold. I try to remember this every day and to never complain about grocery shopping. Poor me, I have to go to this store where any food I want is available and I have money to buy what I want. AND..I have to carry it up 2 steps into the kitchen from my car. :)
 Trust me..I complain a lot..but sometimes I hear myself and wanna punch me. Yes it get's hard to shop with an 11 month old..but "BIG picture" is what I have to remind myself.

Make a list somewhere of the "projects" that need attention on the weekends. We have 3 on the whiteboard now..organize A, B, & C.

Start small if your house is really messy.

I love using vinegar, baking soda, and lemon juice to clean.

This is a blog I read and used a lot of  her ideas!
http://time-warp-wife.blogspot.com/2010/09/home-maintenance-schedule.html